


Doctor Who: Do not look into the hope

by Blue_Dolphin_in_the_TARDIS_1986



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Alone, Alternative Universe-Human, Dirty Talk in later chapters, F/M, Falling In Love, Friendship, Lost - Freeform, Lost Hope, Love, More tags will probably come to that, Oralsex, Sad Memories, Sad Story, Sad with a Happy Ending, Sex, Slow approach, Travels, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-16
Updated: 2019-04-18
Packaged: 2019-11-19 10:25:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 19,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18134528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blue_Dolphin_in_the_TARDIS_1986/pseuds/Blue_Dolphin_in_the_TARDIS_1986
Summary: The Doctor is a well-known "kidnapper". In all his years he had met so many women, but none had ever fascinated him as much as Rose Tyler did. Due to tragic events, he has to spend more time with her, when planned. So he takes her on a journey through England ... Until the time when everything will change.





	1. Chapter 1 - The Lost Light

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> Here's another story from me.
> 
> This time it's focused on Nine and Rose. Due to the theme of the story this pairing fit best.
> 
> Maybe some of you will be surprised, maybe some will suspect what it actually is. Anyway, I hope you enjoy reading.
> 
> Allons-y.

Unfortunately I do not know how to insert "title pictures" here, unfortunately I can only do it that way. I hope it's okay.

 

https://www.instagram.com/whoviansinceseptember2017_1986/p/Bw94B96n9Q8/?igshid=19mj4eluu92cn

*********

Doctor Who © by BBC Worldwide

 

Doctor Who: Do not look into the hope

Chapter 1 - The Lost Light

London/England/Europe - - 2006

Oh, how had her eyes once been so full of life, so full of expectation for the new. Now there was nothing but emptiness and even the fear that she might have felt just a few hours ago had completely disappeared.

The Doctor is a well-known kidnapper. Over time, he had taken at least 20 young women ... and brought them back to their families.

What he did was in a gray area. Yes, he acted illegally, but also right again.

Because of this, he was worshiped by some for his actions and despised by others. He knew that every day could mean his own end, but as long as he had the opportunity, he would go on.

Now he was in an apartment whose sight disturbed him. Was there a real skeleton of a human on the wall? He did not want to think about it.

It was important to bring the young woman to safety in front of him. He said quietly to her that she did not have to be afraid of him, but her only reaction was to move away from him and press his back against the wall. Her knees drawn, she had her head on top and tried to hide the tears.

He could not force her to do anything but leaving her here was not an option.

Slowly, he stepped to her, then squatted in front of her and apologized for what he was doing now. A few seconds later she fell in a deep sleep.

They had to leave here before their violent friend would be back.

Anger rose in him. How could anyone just do that? All the other women he had released were scared, too, but at least they were able to react.

But now it seemed different.

On the way he called the mother of the girl, assured her that it was good for her daughter and suggested to let her live first.

There was no argument from the other side and so it was decided. At least until there was no more danger.

The young woman, she could not be older than 20, slept for almost a day and he hoped that would make her feel better. He had given her something to eat in case she got hungry after waking up.

He wanted to stay with her all the time, but he could not suddenly give up his task, so he had to be gone for a few hours.

It was years ago when he did this for the first time. At that time, by chance, he had seen someone imprisoning a girl in the basement of the house where he lived at the time.

In one of the few moments he had to go downstairs, he had noticed a soft cry. Since it could hardly come from the water pipes, he had followed the source and been pretty shocked when he saw a girl about 10 years old sitting there. The legs were attached to the floor and she had little freedom of movement.

How long has she been here? She looked emaciated.

He had realized at that moment that she might have stayed there for a long time if he had not been there. Did nobody else notice? There must have been others here. Everyone was so distracted that the crying of the girl was overheard. Had she never screamed for help?

He would not get an answer to all these questions.

The girl's parents got their fair punishment and the girl was later adopted by "real" parents who loved her like her own daughter.

Now, barely 20 years later, he now had such a good reputation that even the police asked him for help when they could not do anything themselves. As long as there was no real assumption that someone was actually in danger, their hands were tied, but as a civilian he had some freedoms and therefore could act independently.

He also had no fear of being arrested for his work.

When he was back in the evening, the young woman was already awake, but the food was untouched. She had pushed the blanket off.

He dialed a specific number and then handed her the cellphone.  
At the other end, she heard the voice of her mum, who worriedly asked if she was okay, but she did not get a word out herself, so she handed the phone back to him.

The stranger explained something on the phone and she sensed that she could not go home any longer.

After hanging up, he sat on a chair next to the bed. He did not want to frighten her more than she already was.

„Rose, I know you're scared and if I could, I'd take you home right away, but for the time being this will not be possible.“

She looked, with those eyes that showed only emptiness, and he did not stand the sight for long. So he turned away, explaining what he was up to.  
„I know it's all a bit too much for you, Rose, but as long as he's still out there, you're nowhere safe. I'm sorry to tell you, but if you want to go outside, it's only in my company.“

Still no answer, but she managed to nod slightly, showing him that she agreed. Somehow there was this feeling that she could trust him. He did not look like he was going to do anything to her.

On the other hand, she had thought of Jimmy and was wrong. At the beginning, nothing seemed to indicate how it would all turn out. He had sincerely promised to let her share in his wealth and, of course, she was blinded by the prospect of having more money than ever before.  
Ghosts, she had been so blinded, so stupid! There would be no "wealth". Instead, he began to beat her and blame her for what he himself was responsible for.

Rose started shaking as the pictures went through her mind and he himself did not know how to help her. He was not a person who allowed too much closeness. This was better in his job because he did not spend so much time with the liberated victims. But this time the contact would last longer.

He ran both hands through his short hair and did not seem to know what to do. It was all so different than before.

„Rose, I'll always be away for a few hours during the day“, he told her, „please do not leave the apartment. Either nobody will come over, because nobody, of course, except my landlord knows the address.“

Another nod in turn, then his gaze turned to the food and she understood. She really understood. He did not want to keep her here, but he had to. For the time being she was under his care to protect her life.

Maybe it was better, maybe not. Who could say that?

On the third day she was here, she asked him to go outside together. She had started talking again, but her sentences were short. He sensed that it really took time for her to turn completely to him.

On the fifth day he had a surprise for her. For this she brought to the house where she had lived all her life.

„Of course, it's dangerous to stay here forever, but I could arrange for you to talk to your mother for a few minutes“, he smiled. She knew he rarely did so, so this time it was something special.

They waited and waited, but nobody came. Finally, he decided to enter the building himself to see if everything was alright.

But it was not like that. The red trail running down the stairs, which he immediately knew was blood, was clearly visible. He ran up the stairs and stopped at the top step.

The corpse of Jackie Tyler lay halfway in the corridor and half outside the apartment. The knife stuck in the back and he grimaced on the basis of this cliché. But that did not matter. The only question, which was in the now asked, how long ago it was and why none of the neighbors had reacted.

The next thing he heard was a scream, and as he turned to the source of the noise, he could see Rose clinging to the railing.

„Damn it! I told you to wait downstairs“, he walked past her and pulled her along. Anyway, he wanted it, but she did not move.  
He sensed that she had probably carried more than a shock of it.

„Rose? Is everything alright?“

„Is everything alright?“, She repeated contemptuously and looked at him with an empty and yet icy look.  
„You really ask me if everything is alright? Naturally! Well, there is my lifeless mother, but that's what happens, right? Are you going to tell me that everybody dies someday?!“

He did not answer and pulled her down instead. When they were in front of the building, he phoned briefly and then turned back to her.  
„If I could reverse it, I would do it, Rose. But unfortunately I can not, ok. We'll leave the city for now, as long as this guy walks around freely, you're just not safe anymore.“

She thought for a moment, but what was she doing here? Her friends had turned away and her mum was dead, probably murdered by her ex-boyfriend. The only one left was the man who called himself Doctor and simply did not want to reveal his real name.

„Where would we go? He could find us everywhere.“  
„That's why we will not stay in one place for long. Believe me, I'm not exactly poor and so have rented a hotel room in most cities. Although I work mainly in London, I also work in other cities when asked for help.“

She wanted to ask him how he had found her, but decided against it for the time being. It would have to wait until they really would find a quiet moment.

Suddenly she cried again and for the second time since they knew each other, he pulled her close. The first time it had been because he had to carry her, now it happened for quite different reasons. And he could not say if it was good or bad, but she guessed it was best for her.

She clung to him and cried into his shirt. How could he help her so much? Everyone had warned her and she had not wanted to hear. The promise of wealth had truly dazzled her.

„Where are we going first?“, She finally wanted to know, but he pushed her slightly away.  
„For your own safety, unfortunately, I can not tell you“, he replied, „so I have to blindfold you while driving. Believe me, I wish there was another possibility.“

She looked at him again, and once again he could not bear to see that blank look. She should not seem so lost. He wished so much to see her smiling at least once. Even if it were only short, it would still illuminate his own world. But he also understood that there was no reason for happiness.

„Thanks, Doctor“, her voice was low, „I... I just can not pay my mum's funeral.“  
„Rose, do not worry about that, I'll take care of everything.“

And as she hugged him once more, this time out of gratitude, he felt his heart trying to stop himself from beating faster.

She was 19 and he was 41, his job was only to look after her until she was no longer in danger and then let her out of his life. It never happened that he developed feelings for her, even fell in love with her.

He had sworn never to start a relationship when he started this job. He was a loner. But now that he had weeks to spend with Rose ... No, he would not change his mind.

The funeral was organized by him and completed within a few days. He paid more than usual, but it was worth it.

Now that they were alone in the cemetery, she asked him to be alone for a moment. He nodded, but stayed close.

Rose turned back to the simple gravestone.  
„Mum, I know you do not agree with that, but I think the Doctor will take good care of me. I... I like him, even if he is sometimes a bit closed, but please do not send lightnings just because he did not manage to bring me to you before you ... but I know he suffers from it. Mum, I love you, please greet Dad from me and tell him that I really would like to meet him.“

She winced as one hand fell to her shoulder.  
„We have to... Rose, what's up?“

Not only did she hug him this time, this time she threw herself into his arms.  
„I have no one left“, the tears were just running down her cheeks, „where should I go if I have no one left to go to?“

He rested his head on her shoulder, holding her tight. She was not just another woman he had freed from an awkward situation, no, she was someone who gradually drew his heart to hers. Slow though, very slow, but not unstoppable.

And that would never be good...


	2. Chapter 2 - Let's start our journey

Chapter 2 - Let's start our journey

Mainly it plays this time in Birmingham/England/Europe

„Rose? Would you be so far?“  
„Would it change something if that was not the case?“  
„Not really.“

The Doctor gave her a backpack containing a few belongings, but also reminded her that for the time being, that would be the only thing she would possess.

„That's not much“, she said as she lifted her backpack up and down.

„Open it“, he begged her, which she did, completely surprised that it contained several trousers, tops, and toiletries.

„It is...“  
„Bigger on the inside? Yes, but please do not ask me how it is possible. The company has made only one copy.“

„Extra for you?“, If she felt ready for it, she would smile now. Instead, her expression remained neutral.

„Seems like that“, he nodded, „we really have to go now.“

Rose understood and thought for a moment about where her journey might take her. She would not know it anyway, since the places must remain secret, as the Doctor had already mentioned several times.

When, after several hours, they had left London behind, Rose had fallen asleep. If you had blindfolded, there was not much that you could do.

They did not arrive in the next town until the evening, but Rose would not be able to see it. He wanted to take her on a city tour, but even that could be too dangerous. Nobody could tell when Jimmy Stone will appear next time. Who knew if he would not find Rose somehow, even if he did not really believe that idiot would even be smart enough to come up with such an idea.

Whatever it was, as long as Rose was under his care, he would be responsible for her. He hoped that after that everything was fine, if you could see it that way. Then what would improve if you were alone from now on, no one left, no friends, no family.

The Doctor smiled slightly as he looked at her. It was really late and the ride had dragged him too, so he decided to spend a few hours of sleep. Strangely, he had never needed much of it. Three hours were enough to get fit again. Sometimes this was really good.

„Mum“, her voice came from behind him and he turned slowly, only to see that she had spoken softly in her sleep. Although she was lying there quietly, the hectic movements of her closed eyes indicated that she probably had a nightmare.

He had a chance to give her the necessary rest and a deep sleep without nightmares, but he also knew it would happen against her will.

So he decided against it and instead hoped the nightmare ended long before she woke up.

Until then he just had to wait.

It was still dark, but dawn would soon set in, when Rose noticed the mattress of the hotel bed had dropped slightly. With an open eye she looked at him and his eyes were focused on her.

Was he sitting here the whole night? And why? She could not remember anything from last night. And of course she hoped she had not done something stupid.

„Good morning“, he grinned slightly, „did you sleep well?“  
She nodded, unable to speak at the moment. Finally, the memories came back to what had happened.

„Mum is really dead, right?“  
„I wish it was different, but unfortunately I do not have a time machine I can just travel back with. I'm just the Doctor.“  
„Doctor Who?“   
„No, only the Doctor. I do not give away my real name for some reason.“

She would not ask further. Maybe someday she would find out. Now it had no meaning for now.

„Do I have to be here all day or is there an opportunity for me to go outside?“

He himself went to the window and looked outside. There was no sign of danger, and the park nearby would be well attended in the afternoon.

„Later, not now“, he promised, but she just smiled slightly at him. One moment? She smiled! He had expected it to take longer. But that smile did not reach her eyes. It was not as genuine as he would have hoped.

„Would you like something special for breakfast?“  
Rose just shrugged, „I think it would be a bit too early for my favorite food.“  
„And that would be?“  
„Fish'n chips.“

The Doctor's eyes opened slightly before he twisted his lips into a slight grin.

„Well... that's different. I'm sure there's something like that here in the city. Well, only if you want.“  
„Will this be something like a date?“

He did not blush, he was not guaranteed that. Well, maybe just a little bit, but not much, not much at all. Why did long ears burn like that?  
„Fish'n Chips is not really what I would think about a date.“

Rose got up and looked at him with a steady gaze.  
„Unfortunately, I do not know how such a date works“, she admitted quietly, „He was my only friend so far“, she deliberately did not mention the name, „and never invited me to anything.“

The Doctor clenched his fists unnoticed before his words were faster than his brain could send them.  
„Then I'm going to do you a Fish'n Chips Date this afternoon“, he promised her, feeling his heart pounding a little faster, not because of the excitement of having a "date" with her, but because of it the fact that a young and in his eyes beautiful woman like Rose Marion Tyler wanted to spend more time with him than necessary.

„So, what do you want for breakfast now?“

She asked him to wait, came out of the bathroom a little later, and then suggested that they could have breakfast in the hotel's own balcony.

„Fantastic!“, His grin was wider than ever.

~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~

London/England/Europe

He could not do that.

When he was back after days of absence, she was gone. There, as he once held her prisoner, there was only a note saying, ~I am not kidnapping, I am liberating. - The Doctor.~

Angry, he tore the note. Surely this "Doctor" had already fucked his girlfriend. It could not be different.

No matter how long it would take, he would find her. In his head, a plan of how to get rid of his rival was built by himself. And that forever.

A little later, he had a better idea. One where he would not get his hands dirty.

~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~

Back in Birmingham, Rose was ready to go on her "date". The problem was just that she had no idea how exactly this happened. Sure, she'd seen heaps of loveliness, but movies were rarely like reality.

„I see you're ready“, he entered the room with these words.  
„Yes“, she looked at him, frowning in confusion.  
„Did not you change clothes?“  
„I put on another Shirt“, he grinned and finally held out his hand, which she gratefully accepted.

„So, did you find a Chippy nearby?“  
„Not five minutes away“, he replied.

A little later, they left the hotel and the first thing Rose did was take a deep breath. The Doctor looked at her sadly from the side. How long has she been kept away from the outside world? He had not asked before and as long as she did not want to tell, he would not push them.

„You really did not lie when you said it was close by.“  
„Rose, I promised you a date and not a hike. So, ready? Either you get one of the best fish'n chips of your life, or you wish you'll never eat here again.“

She suddenly seemed to think about something before he smiled at her.  
„We're going to visit some cities before I can go back to London, right?“  
The Doctor nodded.  
„Then I'll try a chippy in every town“, Rose said, and he could not say how happy he was that she wanted to do anything at all. On the other hand, of course, she just wanted to keep herself from thinking about what she had to experience.

„Thank you, Doctor!“, She called suddenly, as she hugged him and he could not help but laugh. Oh, how he would regret letting her go someday. But his job was just too dangerous to even think of a relationship. Well, so far he had no reason to consider such a thing, but unfortunately things looked a little different.

„Hey“, he laughed, in had not laughed so much for years, as in the last few hours, „you're almost pulling my breath away.“  
She released him on the spot and apologized several times, but he just said that it was alright.

Yes, it would be very hard for him to let her go one day.

„Hey, you can not steal the chips all the time!“, She complained when he had taken one for the ninth time.  
„Oh, you would not do anything anyway.“  
„What do you think, why I have ordered a large portion extra?“  
„So I would not starve?“, He wanted to know and looked at her with his eyes innocent. Rose just sighed.

After they finished the meal, they made their way to the park. Rose tried to find out which city they were in, but the Doctor really seemed to do everything to keep it a secret.

„If you want, I can tell you, as soon as all this is over, which cities we visited.“

She nodded slightly. Yes, she came from London, but it was not the way she had imagined. But at least she was not alone now and had to be afraid of being hurt.

Before she knew what she was doing, she had leaned over to him and pressed a light, almost nonexistent kiss on the cheek. Quickly he looked at her, but she had already turned away again and ate the rest of her chips, which she had taken.

„And, to your satisfaction?“, He asked as they were on their way back to the hotel.  
„Yeah, thank you, you do not just leave me in the room all day.“  
„I would not be any better in that case than so many others“, he suddenly was quite serious, „but let's not talk about it.“

They certainly had both secrets, but who would tell if they did not want it themselves?

It was early evening when they finally came back. Once again she thanked her for the day, but he only said that he had liked to do it.

„Do you want to do something else?“  
„Not for now... Doctor? I know that maybe it's a stupid idea, but could you stay with me this night?“  
„Um, you know, Rose...“, he began and this time was probably redder than before.  
„I do not mean that we have to cuddle up tightly in bed, I just do not want to be alone, even if you're only in the next room.“

Ghosts, how he would like to fulfill her wish, but he also could not let it go back.  
He lay down next to her without undressing.  
„Do not you want to take off your jacket at least?“  
„I like to wear it“, was his curt answer, but then threw it away. Rose turned her eyes to him. He would be about her father's age if he was alive.

„How old are you anyway?“  
„41st Well, in your eyes, an ancient cracker.“  
„Well, you would be two years older than my father if he had not died so early. But what does one have to do with the other?“

Good question, maybe because some would then consider him a pervert. And Rose might be more likely to find someone her age than someone who is too old for one thing and lives dangerously secondly.

He flinched as she suddenly grabbed his hand and just held it. Then he smiled. He would not forbid her if she felt better about it.

So they were lying there, both on the big hotel bed, with a few meters between them and the only contact between them was the touch of their hands.

Oh, how hard it would be for him to let her go someday


	3. Chapter 3 - Beautiful nightmares?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry. 😔
> 
> ~~~~~~~~~
> 
> Oh yes, we get a first glimpse into the past of the Doctor, which will reveal more and more in the next few chapters.

Chapter 3 - Beautiful nightmares?

From Birmingham to Sheffield/England/Europe

„Can not you at least give me the initials of the cities we visit?“  
„Rose, what would that do? Besides, I promised you to tell you when this is over.“

She sighed. Well, he was right, it was just that she would have preferred such a trip under different circumstances. She grabbed his hand, squeezed it and he smiled at her.

Seven days, a week, they were together now and she had already told him that she was grateful that he did not just leave her in London to look after herself.

„It's just that I'm still scared that Jimmy would find us. He locked me up for weeks, I do not know what he's capable of.“

The Doctor had only looked at her. Although her smile had returned after such a short time, her eyes were still empty. They did not even show the trace of a tiny spark.

„Rose, I'll promise you one thing: As long as you're with me, I will not let anything happen to you. I'll look after you, no matter how far our way together.“

Yes, she was so happy to meet him.

Now they were on their way to the next town. Although the doctor had suggested she sleep, she could not. For as soon as her eyes closed, she saw her mum's gaze as she lay before her, on her stomach, the knife deep in her back. She had only been able to sleep the last few nights because the doctor gave her the remedy he used to carry her from her ex-boyfriend's apartment. He assured her that it was harmless, so left no permanent damage.

She took a closer look. The hair was short, the ears and nose a bit large, but what fascinated them most was his eyes. These were so blue that sometimes she felt like she was swimming in the ocean. And sometimes she even wished that he was an ocean that received her with its gentle waves.

She was 19, traveling with a man through England, who was so many years older, and she could not remember a moment when she was so happy, so freed. She looked at him from the side because her eyes were not connected this time. She had never met a man who was like him. And something told her that probably never saw another man like that again.

Okay, that was just a stupid crush. He had seen many women in his life, so she would not be special to him. And yet she could not help dreaming, at least in her imagination, of having a life together with him.

„Rose“, he brought her back to her thoughts, „we're here.“  
„Nice? That was pretty fast.“  
He laughed before he got out and finally helped her.  
„You really seem to have a hotel room in every city.“  
„In my job, that is indispensable. Besides, I do not choose the cities arbitrarily. I have to free someone.“

Rose nodded before she noticed she was alone then.  
„Can I help you with this somehow?“  
He looked at her and sighed shortly: „Yes, I could really use that. It is this time a sibling couple, which has not been seen for weeks. Of course, her parents had made an ad, but of course, as the neighbors also knew it was arguing, one of the assumptions was that they just ran away. Only a few days ago was contacted, because, as usually, the police could do nothing. A dispute between parents and their children is far from a reason to intervene.“

She grimaced and shuddered at the thought of knowing that some would not react until the hearse was down at the front door. She wondered again why nobody had reacted to her neighbors when her mother was murdered. Although, on the other hand, it should not surprise you. So she was not at home there. Actually never.

No matter how, someday she would have been gone. The question remained, at what time.

„Rose, where are you only with your thoughts?“,  
„By Mum“, the young woman admitted, „I wonder all the time whether it could have been prevented, if I just needed to be there a bit earlier.“

„Rose“, his voice was gentle now, „it's not your fault...“

~It's not your fault, even if you want to see it that way. Listen, whatever...~

He shook his head, banishing the voice of his past from his memory. It was years ago and he did not want to think about it now. Instead, he should focus only on how Rose was doing.

„Rose, actually there are no words that really help you after a bad experience, most of the time you learn to handle them.“

~That was really stupid, do you know what you wanted to do there?~

Again, that voice that was so many years back.

„Doctor!“, She had hugged him the next moment and cried on his chest.  
He tried to keep quiet, but his arms automatically closed around her. He knew that she would suffer such episodes again and again in the near future, but it was fine. It would always be alright.

„I think it's okay“, she looked up at him and for a moment it looked like she wanted to kiss him, then she turned away.  
„So, you said that you had a job here?“  
„Yeah, but not tomorrow“, he said as he threw himself on the couch in the hotel room. Rose laughed. For the first time since they met, she really laughed, wholeheartedly. How could she mean less to him than was appropriate?

~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~

When evening arrived, the Doctor was not in the hotel room, but since Rose was sleeping, he hoped to be back as soon as possible.

He had gathered information about the missing siblings. That they were not in school for weeks is one thing, but they have not been seen in all that time, another. Some thought that the family had moved away, but then the children would have had to leave the school.

The Doctor shook his head. It was the first time he had been asked for help because of such a case. If a whole family was involved, it was a bit more difficult.

He pulled out the letter that held the familiar address where the family was supposed to live, but he also felt that this time it would be more difficult than before. Maybe he could really use Rose's help.

Back in the hotel room a surprise awaited him. On the table in the living room was a card where his name (not his real name) could be read. He smiled, thinking that maybe it was Rose, even though she could talk to him like that. But when he opened it, blood spurted out to him.

The Doctor coughed and then wiped his face with the back of his hand.  
He knew the handwriting of the one who had sent him the card and that meant they could not stay here long. He had to do his job as fast as possible.

„Rose“, he called, „are you there?“  
„Where else should I be?“, She said with the words from the bedroom and he could not say how relieved he was to see her. Rose was shocked to see the blood on the doctor's face.

„Do not worry, it's not mine.“  
„Something is wrong here, Doctor.“

He took a handkerchief and now cleansed his face completely, so that nothing was visible.

„Rose, it's nothing, ok.“

The young woman stepped back, as if suddenly afraid of him. Which was no wonder. He really looked like something bad had happened.

„I should not have walked with you.“  
„What? Rose, you're not safe in London, you know that“, he reminded her, „and I just do not want anything to happen to you! I'm worried about you, do not you understand that?“

Rose had lowered her eyes, tears dripping on the carpet.

The next moment he was with her and had pulled her into a hug. More like a good friend who was always there for you, less like a lover who could not be without the other.

„Oh, Rose, I just wish things were different“, he whispered softly into her hair, „I wish you had not experienced all this.“

He did not care if she crammed his shirt, sadly his feelings were very different. If somebody would ask him someday, he would have to answer honestly: „I was in love with Rose Tyler from the beginning.“

They had only known each other for a week and he could not imagine being without her. But it would come like that. Rose would get to know somebody and then there would be no room for him in her life.

Rose snuggled up against him, breathing in his scent. Oddly enough, he smelled like fresh morning dew. She wanted to tell him how grateful she was to him, how much she wanted him forever in her life, but it would never be like this.

„Hey, are you alright?“, He asked, and Rose took a step back, looked up into his blue eyes and then turned before she did anything wrong.

„Thanks“, she wiped the tears from her eyes.  
„For what?“  
„Just for having you there.“  
„It's my duty to pay attention to you.“

Rose just nodded. Even if he did not say it out loud, she still knew that he just looked at her as another case and unfortunately he had the misfortune to be by his side. At least until all this is over.

„I have to go now, unfortunately“, he brought her back again.  
„Good, then I will accompany you.“  
„Rose, no. While I have said that I would appreciate your help, that does not mean that you have to endanger yourself.“  
„If you have not noticed, I'm in danger all the time, it does not matter now.“

The Doctor did not know what else to say. Instead, he just took a long jacket and just walked away without paying attention. Rose remained with a sense of confusion and anger.

Outside, the Doctor leaned his back against the closed door, wondering how he could apologize later. But at the moment he really had a job to do.

~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~

London/England/Europe.

A few days earlier

„Do I understand that correctly, so you want me to kill your ex-girlfriend?“  
„No, I want you to kill the Doctor. I know that would not give you any trouble.“

The other man leaned back in his chair.  
„Ah, yes, the Doctor. Old enemy of mine. And why should I kill him now?“

The younger man told the "truth", which was actually a lie. In fact, it did not matter what happened to his ex-girlfriend, but the Doctor had offended his pride and he could not just sit on it.

„You can count on my help.“

A few days later, a fold-up card appeared in a certain hotel room in Birmingham.

~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~

The Doctor had reached the house in which the siblings were caught on time, and yet had been too late.

Before him lay the lifeless bodies of the twins, blood gushing from their heads and yet, without all this, it would seem as if they were just asleep.

He looked at the father of the children, who did not deserve the name, and it was clear to him that he did not regret his act.

„Are you okay, Doctor?“  
„No, it is not“, he tried to keep his voice calm, but knowing he could not. He apologized briefly and ran away as fast as possible. He had to get the pictures out of his head, the cries of the children when they were shot.

When he returned to the hotel room, he immediately fell to Rose, who had been waiting for him all the time.

„Doctor? What's happening?“

He clung to her like someone who is about to drown.  
„Hold me, Rose, please. Just hold me.“

And she did it. Because she did not want him to suffer.


	4. Chapter 4 - Not without you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, it took a while. It's probably a (very) emotional chapter, and I always need a bit longer with this than with normal chapters.

Chapter 4 - Not without you

At some point his cry subsided and at the same time he became heavier on her shoulder, so she decided to take him to the bedroom, where he could rest.

Rose really wondered what he had experienced in his past because it could not only have something to do with today.

The Doctor had fallen asleep quickly, but the jerking movements behind his closed eyelids showed he was not really at rest. Was that why he slept so seldom? Did he have nightmares that his past, however it may be, did not want to let him go?

Rose decided to stay with him until he woke up the way he had done with her.  
She lay down on the bed next to him, prepared to stay awake, but within minutes herself had sunk into the land of dreams.

In the middle of the night, and yet early in the morning, about two o'clock, the doctor was with a jerk. He could not really remember what he had dreamed, but something in his subconscious told him that it had something to do with Rose and that it could not possibly mean anything good.

He looked next to him. She was asleep and he could not help but smile. It was true, since she came into his life, he felt better, could banish the memories of the past for at least a few hours from his thoughts.

„Rose“, it was a whisper of his voice, the sound of her name not really meant for him, yet she moved slightly, her eyes looking in his direction, yet not looking at him. The Doctor shrugged and sank back onto his back, wondering if it was bad to pull her into his arms.

Oh, why worry about it, just do it! The doctor moved closer to her until he could attract her without waking her. Rose sighed in his sleep and for a tiny moment he was afraid that she would wake up, but none of this happened.

The Doctor could not believe it was that easy. He'd rather have expected her to wake up and ask him what he was up to. And he could hardly explain that it had no intention of him and it happened only by chance.

But that was not the point. He had been a loner for 20 years, never had anyone close to him and always tried to get out of the lives of others as fast as possible. That was why he kept his true name secret.

He was basically a broken man inside, but how could a young woman like Rose Tyler help him become who he once was?

20 years ago, when his life suddenly experienced a change.  
20 years, where Rose probably was not even born.  
The Doctor looked at the young woman next to him and he could not help but to admit for himself quietly, to have fallen in love with her. What would it bring him to deny it for a long time when his feelings were still there.

The Doctor sensed that their time together would not be over as quickly as he might have thought. Hope would be with his, newly discovered feelings, even if they were probably always there, not the right name for it.

Rose would not (for the time being) know anything about what happened that night.

She woke up alone around 9 o'clock, yet she felt better than ever. She had dreamed that her liberator/kidnapper held her in his arms all night, promising to never leave her alone again.  
But it was just a dream.

The Doctor sat in the armchair in the room, head down, eyes closed. Rose decided to get ready and then call the room service to order something for breakfast.

As soon as the door to the bathroom was closed behind her, he opened his eyes and looked to the door. She would probably be naked now, unless she was taking a shower in pajamas. Ghosts, why did this idea make it so? It could not be that his cock hardened as he thought about following her into the bathroom and ripping things off.

His hand went into his pants, hoping that Rose would take a few minutes longer and took his hardest part. Sure, it's not unusual for him, but it never went so fast. Again and again he paced up and down, imagining her hand/mouth in the spot, accelerating his movements until he finally came in his hand.

Afterwards he was ashamed of his action. Rose had just escaped from a relationship, probably carrying a trauma, and he was doing nothing but imagining how she would suck him.

The Doctor shook his head. She would never get involved with him, never really want to be with him when she learned what he had done many years ago.

~ It's not your fault, Doctor. Things happened, nobody could have done anything about it. ~  
~ It would not have happened if I had paid attention! ~

He just wanted to forget his memories of the past, but they were his companions, they would never go.

He collapsed, wondering what the purpose was. He had started to settle his debt then, but she had never disappeared. With each liberated girl, she only grew. Out there, so many people were missing, nobody knew what had really happened to them. Some may have deliberately run away, others may be deadly injured somewhere where no one has found them yet, and others may be waiting somewhere for deliverance, but they knew it would never come.

The Doctor could only focus on England, although he has been to Scotland and Ireland. He also could not build a network because no one could say who was really on his side and who would betray him.

Maybe he should ....  
He felt two arms around him and someone leaning against him.  
„Whatever happened to you in the past, I will not leave you alone, Doctor."  
„Everybody leaves me sometime, Rose. It's part of my life.“  
„Then I will be the exception. I'm not going to leave you, where would I go if nobody's waiting for me?“

He turned his head to her, looked into her brown eyes and did not know what he deserved. She did not even seem to care that he had satisfied himself a few minutes ago.

„How long will you stay with me, Rose?“  
„Forever, my Doctor, forever.“

They had known each other for a week and yet none of them could live without the other. The Doctor got up quickly before anything could happen and disappeared in the bathroom.

Rose sank back, wondering if she had said too much.  
The Doctor had made several hints that her time would be of limited duration, but she really did not want to leave him.

The bed smelt of him. And she always wanted to keep that smell with her, even if it sounded possessive, she could not help it, that she had developed feelings for him.

„Rose, can we go?“

He had put on his normal clothes again, stood there smiling broadly and did not seem to think of earlier. So she would not.

„Are we going to go again?“  
"Yes, this time it's about someone I have not seen in many years."

He could only hope that they would not be mad at him.

„But you told me you were the last of your family.“  
„I am too. She is my adopted sister. My parents took her when her parents died from a robbery. We were neighbors. I'm nine years older than Donna.“

Rose looked at him. He was really the last one in his line and when he dies this line will go away forever. Sadly, she was the only one left in her family. She no longer had a living relative.

Within a few seconds, she was back with him, hugging him and digging her nose in the crook of his neck. They were both alone, they both had lost all that mattered to them. Maybe it was no coincidence that their ways had brought them together.

„Where does Donna live, if I may ask?“  
„You know, I can not tell you.“

Rose sighed. She had really believed that he would tell her this time. But he would not say a word about it.

They were traveling for a few hours until they reached a small town. Rose has always been brought to bigger cities, so it surprised her. And the Doctor, who did not want to reveal anything about the places, drove so much that he left out all the signs. Rose would never understand how he did it, but she would not ask him either.

He finally stopped in front of a building, got out, and then helped Rose.

When it started to rain, he grabbed her hand and shouted, „Run!“

So they ran as fast as they could and were still wet with gas.  
A red-haired woman opened when he knocked and she disapproves of him a little before asking the young couple into the house.

„Take off your clothes first.“  
„Thanks“, Rose answered for both as the Doctor eyed his leather jacket both sad and critical. He seemed to be very attached to her.

„Lee cooked tea in the kitchen, so why do not you go with him?"

The Doctor nodded, took Rose's hand again and took her to the other room. Donna could only smile and wondered once again how much her adoptive brother had actually caught.

He called two days ago and asked her to come to them. The whole time it was just like this: „Rose has been in my custody for a week. Rose was held captive by her ex-boyfriend for weeks. Rose should not remember what happened. Rose does not deserve to be treated that way. Rose, I think she would be happy to meet you. Rose... I'm determined to pay attention to her. “

Each sentence began with 'Rose', he had spoken with so much warmth in his voice over the young woman (Donna knew she was only 19) that even a blind man with two glass eyes saw it and a deaf-mute heard it.

Donna followed them into the kitchen and saw the Doctor leaning against the door. She asked him why he did not sit down with the others.  
„She is beautiful, right? No one would ever think she'd had a terrible time.“  
„Oi, my brother, the spaceboy who, when we were just friends, always had his head in love. I think writing that in the calendar is not enough, it's bound to be framed. “

The Doctor did not respond, his eyes were focused only on the young woman in front of him.

„Then I can give the banana cake to the neighbor boy“, she shrugged.  
„You will not do that. Nobody loves bananas as much as I do.“  
„So there's something my brother loves more than a young woman who can not let someone out of their sight.“

He sighed, „Yeah, well, I love Rose“, he admitted softly, „but nothing would happen between them.“  
„And why?“  
„I am 22 years older than Rose. I would even be older than her father if he was alive. Like, Donna, she should choose someone like me. A man with big ears is not exactly what a girl is looking for.“

Donna laughed, „That's right. In the past, many people with big ears were lonely and died alone, because nobody wanted to have them as partners.“

These words made the Doctor leave the house and take a walk outside across the fields. He had to get his head out, think about how Rose should go now. She was still in danger and he caught himself thinking it might be like this for a long time together.

He shook his head contemptuously. How could he think that? He lowered himself into the grass and turned his eyes to the sky. It was not long before he got company.

„Lee said you could be here.“  
He reached for her hand and pointed upwards.  
„I love this place“, he admitted, „in less than an hour the sun will set. It just can not be explained, you have to see it for yourself.“

She squeezed his hand tighter, smiled briefly at him, and then enjoyed the colorful sunset light play.


	5. Chapter 5 - The stars shine among us

Chapter 5 - The stars shine among us

The night was still young and so really none of them felt like going back already. Although the play of colors of the sunset was long gone, but now thousands of stars beamed down on them.

Rose admitted she had not seen anything like it before. As well as when she grew up in London. There was not much opportunity to look at the sky in this splendor.

She turned her head to him now and he had to look twice to be completely sure. It was only a faint flicker, and perhaps it only reflected the light of the stars, but the Doctor was much more inclined to believe that her eyes were shining instead of once again waiting in vain for her light to return.

She moved a little and then lay with her head on his chest, listening to the steady sound of his heart. He himself hoped that Rose would not notice how much his heart pounded in his chest.

„Doctor? I've decided to stay with you and since you can not break a promise, I'll give you one now.“

„Everybody leaves me sometime, Rose. Be it voluntarily or not, in the end I will always be alone. Do not worry about it, I got used to it.“

Rose changed her position so that she was above him and could see directly into his blue eyes.

„And because you do not know another life, so you want to stick to it? How should I believe that it will be better if not even you do it. Would not it have been better to leave me where I was.“

He raised his hand and put it on her cheek.  
„Rose, why do you want to spend time with an old guy like me? Why would not someone your age be better?“  
„I had someone like that and what brought it to me? Doctor, I do not want a younger man than you, I do not want to prove anything to anyone, just to make others happy. I have no idea where it's going to take us, but I'm guaranteed to get you...“

He could not do anything anymore when he suddenly pulled her close and kissed her. It was not just a simple, fleeting touch on the lips, but much more.

After a few minutes (or just seconds), he suddenly jumped up and walked away from her a few paces.  
„It is not right for you to stay with me for a long time.“  
„Even if, whatever you've done in the past, I do not care.“

~It's not your fault. Nobody is to blame for what happened.~  
The Doctor gripped his temples with both hands.  
~It was an accident that could have happened to anyone else.~

„Be quiet!“, He shouted suddenly, „Just be quiet.“

Out here in the silence and with the wind coming up, his words were carried off into the distance.

„Doctor? Why should I be quiet?“  
„Not you, Rose, I meant the voice... Oh, you would not understand it anyway!“

He just ran away, leaving her behind, not even thinking of coming back. If she did not see the lights in the distance, Rose would not know how to get back.

„Where's the Doctor?“, Donna asked as she entered the house. Rose looked up questioningly.  
„Is not he here?“  
„I would hardly ask this if it had not disappeared. It looks similar to him again, just run away when it gets complicated.“  
„Something must have happened in his past, but he does not want to or can not talk about it.“

Donna nodded as Lee put down her drink. Rose thanked him smiling.

„Lee and I thought he would be different with you, maybe more openly, but we were probably wrong. He still seems to be a stubborn loner.“

Rose looked into the tea, which, however, could not give her an answer.

„I promised him that I would stay with him, but I guess it does not matter to him.“

Not only did she seem lost, she was too. Not knowing how to proceed was probably one of the worst things that could happen to you.

„I do not even know where to go“, she admitted, then told her what had happened and how she finally met the Doctor.  
„It really does not suit him, he keeps someone at his side for so long, he would usually have given you to the police and maybe you would have been safer there.“

„But why did not he do it?“

Donna just shrugged, decided to drop the subject.  
„It's late, we'd better all go to sleep.“

Rose was escorted to the guest room by Lee while Donna tried to reach her adoptive brother, but he had turned off his cellphone. So she knew he might be around. He had never been out for days, so he'll be somewhere to think about something.

And he did. He knew this place very well, besides, Donna would at least start the outside light. And of course he had a key, too.

Still, he knew he had hurt Rose. Maybe she did not want to see him after he acted like her. And he had kissed her. How could he? It was not even that he just wanted to kiss her. The moment he held her close, he wanted more, much more. He wanted to be close to her, to feel her around her... To show the whole truth: Yes, he wanted sex with her.

That was crazy! He had no right to think that way, especially after a week. But what he wanted and what his heart yearned for were two different things he could not really control.

It had to be well past midnight when he decided to go back. He knew Rose was guaranteed to sleep in the guest room, so he would. For his behavior yesterday, he could later apologize.

Rose noticed, however, that she was suddenly no longer alone. Which was probably because she could not really sleep.

„You are back?“  
„Why are you not sleeping?“  
„How could I, if I do not know what's wrong with you, Doctor?“

He nodded, though she could not see it, with her back to him, careful not to be too close.

„Rose, I'm sorry for what I did a few hours ago.“  
„That you're just running away?“  
Now he turned them so that they had to look at each other. He realized that she had been crying. And he hated nothing more than hurting anyone. Especially not Rose.

„We can talk about it later“, he suggested, „then you can kill me if you want. I will not defend myself.“

She thought of her mum, for Jackie would have certainly read the Levites if she had known.

(Was it a miracle that there were thunderstorms during the day?)

He pulled her close to her, her head pressed to his chest, his face hidden in her hair. He was determined to tell her one day about the mistake in his past, but until then some time would pass.

The morning came quickly and naturally because of the fact that both had little sleep because a certain person with a swing opened the door.

„Get out of bed or are you birds now?“

The Doctor looked up, if he had had longer hair, it would have been wildly messed up, but in that case, he just looked tired.  
„Donna! Just take a megaphone!“, He grumbled and put the pillow on the back of his head. He really had not slept enough the last night. But when he realized that Rose had not moved in all that time, he saw next to him.

She was sleeping. How could you only have such a deep sleep? That was not normal. But considering what Rose had experienced lately, it was better that way.

He moved away quietly, careful not to wake her, then followed her into the kitchen, where Lee had already prepared breakfast. The young man nodded to his brother-in-law before turning back to the coffee machine.

The Doctor sat down at the table, but did not take anything from the breakfast. He looked more like he was worried about something, or rather, someone.

„It certainly will not change if you keep thinking about what might be.“  
„I will... I do not know what I would do. Can I really risk the rose staying with me forever? I do not want to lose her, but I do not want to endanger her.“

„She really seems to matter to you“, Lee asked, „be honest, do you like her?“  
„Of course I like Rose!“  
„Do you love her?“  
Now he did not answer. He would like it, but he was not sure if the words would really escape him. Instead, he just lowered his eyes to the edge of the table.

He had wanted to sleep with her a few hours ago, but did that mean he was in love with her? He could hardly seduce the young woman and then say that he had not fallen in love with her.

„Morning“, her voice suddenly boomed, and the doctor jumped up so fast that the chair fell back, but it did not matter as he pulled her close. Donna gave her husband a short nod, but he looked as if he did not want to miss it.

„Lee Andreas McAvoy - Noble, either you're taking me outside or you'll have the divorce papers on the table tomorrow!“

He got up and followed his wife outside.

Meanwhile, the young couple stood in a tight hug.  
„Rose? I never wanted to hurt you, it's just that I'm afraid you'll go if you find out what's really wrong with me.“

She looked up at him.

„I have so-called flashbacks. They come at irregular intervals, but it is with me that they come to me in the form of a voice, but not in pictures.“

„And yet you can not tell me what happened then, right?“  
„I... have a big debt to me, Rose. One that will accompany me all my life. That's why I can not let anyone get so close to me that I want to spend my life with the person.“

She looked up at him before pulling his head down.  
„Then at least let me stay with you, Doctor“, she begged him, „do not let us lose sight of each other one day.“

„How can you just like me?“, His blue eyes were fixed in her brown eyes, „my ears and nose are far too big, besides, I am 22 years older than you and, as already mentioned, I carry a big burden from my past with me.“

She smiled and this time, yes, this time it really happened, when the light she had lost weeks ago slowly returned to her eyes.

„Yeah, your ears are a little too big“, she said with her fingertips.  
„Yes, your nose too“, now she put a kiss on it, „but I do not want a man who is 100% perfect. I want someone who has mistakes, as I do.“

„Rose... thank you.“

And with that he kissed her with everything he could give her. When he pulled away from her, she could see in her eyes something she had never expected.

„Rose, when the time comes, I'll show you how much I want to fuck you. I want you, but then you really are ready, so do not, because you feel obliged to it.“

She sighed: „Jimmy... he never had with me, told me he had no inclination to have sex... well, he probably was enjoying himself somewhere else.“

The Doctor opened his eyes.  
„That's wonderful, Rose, that left that asshole away from you.“  
„He hit me, Doctor!“, She reminded him, and when the memory of it collapsed, she finally collapsed on the floor.

He sat down next to her.  
„If you leave, then I really do not have anyone left for me. Please stay with me!“

He took a deep breath, his arms tight around the woman's trembling body. Even if he did not want to, one day her ways would part, if she found out what he had done.

~ It's not your fault, James, nobody will ever tell you otherwise. ~

************

Did you know that Christopher has his own Instagram Channel?


	6. Chapter 6 - Far Near Distance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We learn here from which mistake from the past the Doctor is accompanied. I think it's a fitting moment for that (besides, I would not be surprised if many were not surprised by what happened then.)

Chapter 6 - Far Near Distance

„Rose?“, His voice softer than before, seemed to penetrate deep into her soul. She looked up at him, his blue eyes like an inviting ocean she never wanted to leave again. You had kissed twice already and did not it always mean that all good things are three?

So she pulled him down for another kiss and he did not fight back. On the contrary, he enjoyed having her so close. Of course, some would say that it was too early to first get to know each other, but the Doctor had spent more than a week with her every day, maybe he knew her better than anyone else in her old life.

Suddenly he pulled back, his breath heavy.

„Rose? I am the last survivor of my family and I am 41 years old. So how...“

She put a hand on his mouth and silenced him.

„Doctor, do not you still understand it? I do not care how old you are or whatever happened in your past, I just do not care.“

„I have 20 lives on my conscience!“, He shouted suddenly and stepped several steps away from her. Rose looked shocked. Did this mean that he was a murderer? He had never talked about it, because the pain of the memory was hard to bear, but this time it had to come out. It would make him crazy otherwise.

„At that time, I think you were not even born, I worked in a hospital, I wanted to become a Doctor. That's why my nickname. One day I had visited the kitchen to see how all this was done... and due to my inattentiveness I found a whole pack of washing-up liquid in the day's food. The whole hospital got sick and 20 people died alone because they were too ill for their bodies to handle.“

His voice trembled. He felt the tears in his eyes, but at the same time she tried to hold back. He could not cry in front of Rose.

„Do you understand, Rose? I have 20 people on my conscience. People who would still live today. It's just wrong to get too close to me.“

Tears welled up in her eyes, and he wanted nothing more than to pull her in and keep him forever, but he just could not put her in danger.

„Doctor, if you really think so, let me tell you something. You are a good person, the best friend and also the most I have ever had. Yes, all these people died, but why did nobody notice that the food tasted funny?“

„Is that important, Rose? People died because of my inattention and many more had stomach cramps and nausea in the following days.“  
„Is that why you are doing this task today? To free people from lousy situations, because you think by reducing your debt? Doctor, listen, it was not your fault, you just keep telling it to yourself. And no, I'm not a psychiatrist, I guess just what everyone would think.“

He swallowed. Why did she just have to be so understanding? Could not she just be afraid of him? Rose pulled him into another hug and he did not return it, letting his arms dangle by the side. She sensed that it would not bring anything this time, stepped back and shook her head sadly.

„How can I ever believe that everything will be all right if you are like that. I'm so sorry, Doctor.“

And with that she left him alone.

In the afternoon he was gone and the only thing he left was a letter he wrote to Rose.

~° Rose, I hope you understand my decision, maybe not in the near future, but hopefully one day. I can not stay with you, as much as I would like to, but you certainly do not want to have a man who, firstly, can not just leave his past behind and second, far too old for you. I do not know what exactly this Jimmy did to you, but not every man is like him. I know that you will find someone whom you can love and who does not have a bad past like me.

Rose? Keep the few days that we had in mind, but please do not try to find me. I will be everywhere and nowhere, but no matter where I am, I hope that one day you can forgive me.

In eternal Lov .. Gratitude,

The Doctor. ~°

Rose crumpled the letter into her hand and tears came into her eyes. He could not mean that? He could not just run away and think that gets away with it. Ghosts, how she would like to shout at him at that moment.

The young woman ran outside, shouting out her own anger until her voice was hotter and she sank down on the front porch. He just did not understand it!

She wanted him, no one else who was maybe younger, maybe a clean slate, she just wanted him. There would be nothing to deny it. The feelings she had for the Doctor were so strong that she was sure she would never feel different again. She was aware that her heart was shattered and that it would only become a whole again when he was with her again. But until then it would only cause her pain.

~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~

The Doctor had gone as far away as he could to leave everything behind. He would blur any trace of him, and yet, somewhere deep in his heart, he hoped he might one day start a life together with Rose.

He sighed, leaving everything behind, even the rental car he had the whole time (he wrote a message to the company where he was standing so they could pick him up) and set off by foot.

He would keep afloat with odd jobs until he could finish his own past and look to the future without fears.

~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~

London/England/Europe

„No sign“, the man muttered as he went through the collected data. For a few days, the two did not seem to be together anymore, but on separate paths. His client, however, had asked for it, rather requesting that he should kill him if his ex-girlfriend is present. She should see it, as the man who had simply taken her, miserably perishes.

He himself was too cold to even make a slight smile. There was no joy in his work, but what did you do?  
When he got a phone call in the afternoon that had disappeared without a trace, he suspected that he might yet again get a challenge. To find someone who could not be found brought something new.

„Enjoy your time while you can, Doctor. Because the pointer is slowly approaching its end.“

~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~

He had checked in under false names to some small hotel in a small town, where no one ever asked who he was and where he was from. Which he much preferred. He did not want to explain his story to anyone.

Most of the time he spent either in the room or took walks outside. The main thing he was alone with his thoughts.

However, it seemed that the rain was always stronger where he was than if he had gone only a few meters further and he was leaving behind him.

He laughed, because that really would be stupid.

The rain died down, seemed to take a break or annoy him that he could not escape either way.

He sighed, seeming to wonder if he had anything to do with it, even if such thoughts were completely nonsensical.

He did not return to the small hotel until the evening, but did not notice the glare from the man behind the counter, who grinned as he climbed the stairs. Then he picked up the phone, dialed a number and decided on life and death.

The Doctor had thrown himself on the mattress, folded his arms at the back of his head and was thinking of at least telling his sister that he was fine and that he needed some time for himself.

The knock on the door and as he opened, a grinning, younger man stood opposite him.  
„It's none of my business, but if I were you, I'd make my escape as soon as possible before picking up your body from this hotel last.“

The Doctor even understood what was going on here.

~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~

The whole day since the Doctor had disappeared Rose had hoped that he would at least report, but the silence remained.

She had not eaten herself during the days, just liquid. Donna and Lee were worried about the young woman, afraid that she intended to go slowly out of life if the Doctor did not come back.

„Did Mr. Harkness find him?“  
„Lee, nothing will change if you keep asking. Jack will be in touch.“

Her husband nodded and went to Rose, who had curled up on the bed in the guest room.

„Hey, Rose, do you want to watch a movie with us tonight?“

No reaction. There was no indication that she had even heard him. Lee glanced at his wife, who nodded slightly to him and he pulled the blanket up.

„He will return, he is always.“

Rose cried, the last time she had done this when her mum died, this time it was because the distance from the Doctor hurt so much. She just could not imagine being without him and if he really did not come back then she would much rather not live her life anymore.

Maybe she could meet her parents, her father, whom she knows only from pictures and stories. From her grandparents who had told so much about their son before they died too.

And now Rose had no one left. Could not there be a parallel world somewhere where she was happy with her family, maybe had a little brother, no, of course she had to be stuck here.

By now the pillow was wet, but she just did not care, she did not care. And that would not change until she knew what to do next.

~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~

„Does anyone really want my life?“  
„I suppose so, Doctor.“

Jack Harkness had told him everything in the meantime. The Doctor sensed that Rose's life was in danger even when he was not around.

„All I wanted was to protect her!“, He slammed his fist against the wall, „why did I have to ask Rose to come with me until everything is alright. But instead I put her in more and more danger.“

„Doctor?“ 

„Rose, my beautiful Rose, I really just wanted her to be safe, but no matter what I do, I endanger her life more and more.“

Jack suggested that he return to her as soon as possible.

„Donna told me that Rose is really bad. She would not eat for days. Doctor, the girl loves you, I even know that, without having seen her before.“

Christopher James Smith looked at him and finally nodded.  
When he ran away, it was really from the conviction that Rose would not be in danger afterwards. Instead, he achieved the opposite, and the woman for whom his feelings grew stronger with each passing day was hurting himself.

„Take me to her, Jack.“

~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~

In all the nightmares that had plagued them in the last nights, suddenly one seemed to be turning into a good dream.

Strong arms pulled her gently to her, while she felt a light kiss on her head. If this is just a dream, because she could not believe he was back, she never wanted to wake up.

Then she wanted to be with the man of her dreams forever.

Here they were, Christopher James Smith and Rose Marion Tyler, two people, 41 and 19 years old, with two different pasts, yet bringing them together. It really did not matter what they had experienced or what they had done, it really only counted what started from that point.

From that moment, both began to heal.


	7. Chapter 7 - When I say, RUN!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter is both explicit and very emotional. We are slowly coming to the truth, what is really with the doctor, but it is not always told the whole story.

Chapter 7 - When I say, RUN!

Rose woke up with a strange feeling as she felt one hand on her chest and the other on her waist. But the Doctor had run away a few days ago, so it was hardly possible for him to be.

So she had to be in a dream that really felt real. Time to wake up!

The person behind her now pressed gentle kisses on her shoulder, just a touch. Well, then maybe you better go to sleep instead of waking up and seeing that you are alone.

„I'm sorry, Rose.“  
She frowned. Why did her dream doctor apologize? It was not the real thing. Or was he? She was afraid to turn in his arms only to realize that she was still alone.

„Rose, if I ever hurt you like that again, then I would understand, if you do not want to have anything to do with me anymore. I would withdraw from your life then.“

She swallowed. Had he still not understood that the very fact that he ran away hurt her? Does not he understand that he alone makes her more afraid than before?

Now she was too curious if he really was. And yes, it was him. Rose looked into the deep blue eyes of her best friend.

Was he ever just her best friend? She somehow had the feeling that there had been more from the beginning.

„You see, Rose, not a dream.“  
His hand moved over her cheek before he pulled her head slightly to her, but did not kiss her, but leaned his forehead against hers.  
„Well, some dreams can actually feel pretty real.“

He grinned his big grin.  
„If I was really a dream figure, then this would have no effect here“, he said and began to tickle her on the sides. Rose really did not try to laugh, but she just did not want to succeed.

„Still a dream?“  
„Please, stop it“, she begged him and he really stopped, but at that moment his eyes took on a different look than before. Somewhere between concern and desire.  
„If you want to kiss me, do not let me stop you.“  
„I do not want you to feel obliged to anything, Rose.“  
„I do not“, she promised, „come on now...“

He grinned once more, then sat up straight and pulled the young woman on to her lap.  
„I never thought a young woman like you would be attracted to an old man like me.“  
„You're not old, Doctor. Besides, I have already said that once. I had someone closer to my age, but what did it bring me? Nothing at all. Maybe I'm naive about this, but I'm sure you would never hurt me. Not on purpose.“

He sighed before leaning forward slightly.  
„So you really want to spend the rest of your life with me? I could die in thirty years.“  
„Then at least I know that we will have a wonderful thirty years“, Rose moved so that he had to moan briefly.  
„Um, you know what you're doing right now?“

She looked down and saw that his pants were pointing slightly upwards. Her eyes widened as she realized what it was.

„Can I touch it?“, She asked, suddenly looking very shy.  
„Do you really want that? Maybe you should wait a bit longer.“  
„Doctor, how long is this wait? I'm 19 years old and most women my age have had sex several times.“

„Rose, you should not do it. I will not deny that I want you, but...“  
„I'm not talking about you fucking me. I just want to know what it all feels like.“

When he wanted to say something again, she suddenly pulled off her T-shirt and then sat with naked torso in front of him. He swallowed but was not sure he should really do it. Of course he wanted her, he had in fact wanted her from the beginning, but he was not sure if Rose would not withdraw any more.

It was Rose who took one of his hands and put it on her breast.  
„Please, show me how that would feel.“

The Doctor leaned forward and paused for a moment, then gently ran his tongue over it. Rose shuddered at the new sensation, but she did not retreat. He took this as an opportunity to put his lips around it and suck it easily.

„Do you like it?“, His voice was rough, „shall I spoil you both?“  
Her answer was a gasp as he continued. She breathed a little heavier, so that he let her go and looked her in the eyes. His eyes had now turned to a darker shade of blue, even slightly swallowed by the iris. 

„Tap my dick, Rose“, he begged, starving, „Ghosts, I'm so tough I can barely stand it. So, Rose...“

She reached into his pants, reached around with her fingers and felt the thickness and heaviness. Rose did not have any sexual experience, but that did not mean she did not know how to do it.

„So good, Rose. Your hands are already so good, I wonder how your mouth would feel. Your hot lips around my hot cock.“

She did that too. It did not matter if it happened now or later, someday she would want it anyway. Of course, she was not as good as you might expect, but of course he would not complain.

His hand moved a little and finally sank in her sleep pants. There he gently rubbed her wrinkles before pulling her back and then throwing her on her back, even though she was not finished yet.

„Do not worry, I will not invade you, at least not yet“, his raspy voice sent another shiver down her spine as he suddenly slid down and licked his lips.

„Look how wet my girl is for me. So perfect, let's see how cool my tongue would feel. I will bring you to come, I promise you. Even if it's your first time, you'll wish you'll never get fucked by another guy.“

His tongue jerked out and whirled around her clit before he began to suck hard. Shortly thereafter, he took a finger and squeezed it lightly in her. He was cautious, but that only made her put her hand on his head and press him closer.

„You just taste fantastic“, he murmured as two of his fingers moved in and out. Her moan grew stronger, but suddenly she pulled him to him and kissed him.

„Fuck me!“, She begged, pressing herself against his hard cock and he knew that it really does not matter when her first time would be. Caution he positioned himself and slowly penetrated her.

„Forgive me, Rose.“  
„It's alright, it did not feel like I was getting an injection. I just have to get used to it, it's pretty big.“

He smiled, pressed a kiss to her lips, then moved slightly to get used to it. After all, he himself had not had sex for many years.

„So tight“, he breathed, „you are so wonderfully close.“

He pushed into her several times until he suddenly sat down against the wall and pulled her close. Rose's eyes narrowed and she could feel him more clearly through the change in position.  
„Fuck me, Rose. You can do it, I know you can.“  
As if she had been born with it, she began to ride him, at first cautiously, then more and more.  
„Yeah, what a cool feeling, your pussy feels so hot around my dick. Ghosts, I will come, I will inject my semen so hard in you. Gods, I'm coming, I'll...“

The rest of the sentence was lost in a scream as he drove his salvation into her. Rose came after him only a few seconds and finally they closed that moment with a passionate kiss. Both were breathing hard and Rose really felt that she had died for a moment. The French called it "the little death", they were right.

The next thing that happened was that he suddenly jumped out of bed and dressed quickly.  
„That should not have happened“, he shouted as she dressed, „I have no right to do such a thing to you“, he ran a hand over his short hair. That was a mistake, a big mistake. Rose had no idea who he really is.

Now, at that moment, he made a decision that would change his future forever.

„Doctor! I wanted it. You did not force me into anything“, Rose contradicted, but he only shook his head.

He just ran out of the room now, just wanted to get away, but when he reached the yard, he stopped with a jerk.

„No, this is not possible. You can not be it.“

In front of him stood a man with blond hair, his gun pointed directly at him, but suddenly his arm swayed to one side as Rose stepped into view. The man's grin was cold. The Doctor knew that his enemy was not just looking for the job, he had been looking for him alone to finally take him out of the world.

„Where are Lee and Donna?“  
„Let's just say it“, the younger man grinned. „They'll be together forever. And since I unfortunately had to hear what you were doing in there, I will give you the same fate. First the woman...“

The Doctor had such good reflexes because of his work that he was able to push Rose out of the danger zone, but was hit himself. As the blood came out of a side wound, he sank to his knees. Rose was with him immediately.

„Doctor... please...“

He tried a smile, raised his hand and gently stroked her cheek. Tears are dripping on his face. He himself did not have the strength to cry, though everything in him demanded it. He did not want to leave her, he wanted to be with her, with the woman who had taken his heart forever.

At first he had guessed that the moment would come one day that everything in his life would change. This moment was now and he would not decide anymore.

„Rose, before I go, I just want to tell you“, he coughed, blood draining from the corner of his mouth as he continued, in a weak voice, „you were fantastic. Absolutely fantastic. And do you know what? So what I.“

He spat blood one last time before closing his eyes. The young woman hammered on his chest, then clung to his shirt.  
„Do not do that to me, James!“, She yelled, „stay with me. I love you, damn it, I love you, you can just leave me alone now. I love you, James.“

No matter how many times she said those words, he did not wake up. When Jack spoke to her, she suddenly became deaf. She was moving, but from now on she seemed to be doing it automatically. The man she loved more than anything else was dead, for her there was no sense in joy. This was not a fairytale, where he was suddenly enveloped in a light and jumped up alive. No, it just would not happen.

Jack took her to the porch, set her down, and went back to the doctor.

„Doctor? I have the watch with me. If I open it, you will lose all your wounds.“

The Doctor nodded, but when Jack opened the clock, he took it in his own hands and waited a few minutes, then threw it against the wall of the house with such force that the pocket watch broke into its pieces.

After that, he immediately lost consciousness.

If a timelord chooses to be a human forever, he (or she) immediately falls into an artificial coma as soon as there is no possibility to complete the reverse transformation.

*************

There will be two more chapters (and maybe an epilogue) .... The next one will explain who the doctor really is and why he lived as a human on earth for twenty years.

I guess I surprised so many people, unless which of you had suspected the whole time. Well, maybe there is one or the other surprise.


	8. Chapter 8 - Where there is fear, there is hope at the same time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, first, that it took a while. Here we meet someone familiar, for where a Doctor, there ... Oh, of course you'll see that.

Chapter 8 - Where there is fear, there is hope at the same time

Two days have passed. Two days when Rose Tyler did not know what to do next.

Jack Harkness had told her that the Doctor actually came from Planet Gallifrey, but was joined there 25 years ago. They left his pocket watch so that he could have a life as a human here on earth, but he was never allowed to return.

Rose had asked him how it could be that he looked so young in photographs the Doctor had shown her.

„Because he was just that old then. The Gallifreyan are related to humans, but to address this is prohibited on Gallifrey. The Doctor has always done that. Even as a child, as I learned later, he had talked about how interesting the Earth is. Of course he also criticized people's mistakes, but that's only a small part.“

Rose had been thinking about how crazy this is all the moment. The man she had fallen in love with was originally an alien who, if Jack understood correctly, decided to remain a human forever. And that alone because of her.

„Then Donna and he were not adoptive siblings at all?“  
„Not directly, she had taken him in... Well, actually, he had always snuck into her house to sleep there. At the time he had no money, no work. You can imagine how angry she was when she caught him. Later, when they became friends and nobody asked questions, they invented the whole history of adoption.“

„Then he's been on Earth much longer than I thought“, she looked at the sleeping man, who was lying on his back in bed, „you said he was in a coma because of it, so his body would get used to the complete transformation can, but how long would it take?“

Jack did not know. It was the first time in the history of Gallifrey that someone decided to become human.

„All I know is that he has to love you dearly, Rose, I can not explain his decision otherwise. Although he was fascinated by the people, but that he himself becomes one, nobody would have expected.“

Rose went to him and put a hand on his cheek.  
„I love him, Jack. I think that he is the first man I really love. I know meanwhile, that with Jimmy was just blindness, youthful carelessness ... well, with 19 years, that could still vote now.“

Jack shook her head behind her, though she could not see it.  
„I've seen how much he loves you, I've seen how much you love him. It's not reckless, that's what I can tell you. And believe me, he would never let anything happen to you.“

She leaned toward him and pressed her lips briefly to his.  
„I love you, James“, she whispered softly, „please come back to me as soon as possible.“

She did not see the smile that showed on his lips for a tiny moment.

How long would it take for the process to be completed? Would it be two more days, a week, a whole year? No one knew, nobody could answer that question. Of course, if she was honest, she did not want it to be years before he woke up again.

„TARDIS!“, He suddenly said loudly, though he continued to sleep, „someone should get the TARDIS.“

„Jack, what is he talking about?“, She turned to the younger man, „what is this TARDIS?“

Jack frowned in amazement.  
„Did not he tell you about it?“  
„Yes, as much as he is an alien. Or was.“  
„The TARDIS is his spaceship, I can imagine where she is at the moment.“  
„Why are you talking about her as if she were a living being?“  
„Because she is, Rose. The TARDIS is alive and she's probably as worried about the Doctor as we are.“

„TARDIS, I need the TARDIS with me. Bring it to me, please.“  
The Doctor, although he is in a coma, spoke clearly without promising himself.  
It seemed he was only in a half - coma. No wax coma, but one that actually wants to ensure that the person wakes up again, the body is still too weak to do so.

„Rose, the TARDIS... She has to be somewhere near the Thames“, he told her.  
„You really talk to me, right?“  
„Yes, I just can not wake up completely, because the transformation is not yet complete. Do not be afraid, Rose, I will only have to rest for a few more days, then I will be a human forever. Or at least until I die. I love you.“

Next he fell back into a deep sleep, so she had no opportunity to return his words. Jack took her hand and pulled her outside with him.

„We should hurry, I have a funny feeling that the Doctor, if the Tardis is with him, will recover faster.“

~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~

The so-called TARDIS was really on the Thames and Rose was quite surprised that she had the look of a blue emergency call cell.

Rose went to her, put her hand on the outside wall.  
„So you are the TARDIS?“  
A warm feeling flowed through her hand.  
„I'm Rose, I'm sorry we did not meet before, but the doctor has not told me about you so far.“

The TARDIS vibrated briefly and Rose laughed.  
„Yes, I am angry as well, because both of us had concealed the other. But there is something else: I love the doctor. Do you think you can live with it, that I want to spend the rest of my life with him?“

The TARDIS suddenly opened the door so that Rose could look inside.  
„You're taller than you look“, Rose laughed, „I think some women would feel offended if you said that to them.“

The TARDIS vibrated, which Rose recognized as a laugh. Then she explained why she was here. Rose realized that TARDIS intended to come to the doctor immediately. So she nodded briefly to Jack, who would come later and closed the door behind him.

Alone the room with the large console in the middle was already breathtaking, she really wondered what the rest of the interior might look like. Rose did not know at the time that the TARDIS could create an infinite number of rooms, but did not. At the moment there were only two, the main room and a huge library with a swimming pool in the middle.

„When you're at the Doctor, why did he always sneak into Donna's place to sleep there?“

She was startled when suddenly she heard something that sounded like a printer. She turned to the source of the noise and indeed, in front of her suddenly appeared a letter. She took it and could not help it, which made her giggle.

„You were really mad at him and so you excluded him for weeks?“, She really did not believe it, „actually that's pretty nasty, after all, he had lost his homeland back then.“

It did not seem as though the Tardis would be ashamed of it, on the contrary, it seemed to have fun to this day. Rose sighed and finally said that they would rather go to the doctor now. The TARDIS made a certain noise and the next moment the familiar, but for Rose new sound of the TARDIS sounded.

~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~

James knew where he was. He was a kid again, a teenager, at home on Gallifrey, where his parents looked at him while shaking their heads.  
„Oh boy“, said his father, „why are you talking so much about the earth?“  
„Why should not I? People are like us, except for the fact that they have only one heart.“  
„You see, that's why they're so primitive. They are out of breath too fast and their single heart will eventually lead them to their deaths.“

He clenched his fists, looked at his father. But it was not his father, in truth he had always supported him.

„Dad, there's a girl out there“, he'd said the day he was to be bandaged, „a girl I'll find.“

Except that this girl was not even born. How he knew this, he could not say himself. But he did not care. He somehow had a soft spot for the earth, could not even explain exactly why, but he knew that there was no other way for him than to find her one day.

When the day came, when he had to leave, leaving only the pocket watch and his TARDIS, his mother had cried. She had always been aware that one day she would be ready (actually, he had even been waiting for it to happen), but that did not mean she was losing her son.

His father, on the other hand, was calmer, just wished him luck, and then disappeared into the crowd.

It had been so long since then, and over the years, of course, he kept wondering what had happened to his parents.

Still in a half - coma he suddenly heard the beloved sound of the TARDIS. A smile spread across his lips, firstly because he was glad to have her back with him, and second because he hoped nobody would come in now. To explain that would have been complicated and funny to equal.

„Doctor? Are you awake?“  
„Halfway“, he replied, „my body is still getting used to the complete transformation to humans. I hear you found the TARDIS?“

„Yes, but should she stay here all the time?“  
„No, the TARDIS will already know where to wait. I just wanted to know if she's okay.“

„Well, the way I heard it, she was mad at you for quite a while“, Rose grinned, although he could not see it. Was probably better that way.  
„Nice that it amuses you“, he grumbled, „that really helps my recovery.“

She went to him, put both hands on his face, and leaned down to kiss him.  
„Do not be mad, but who would not laugh when you find out that something that looks like a blue emergency cell is mad at someone. No insult to you, TARDIS.“

The answer was a low hum.  
„Great, two women against a man, very fair.“

After that he was fast asleep again. Partly probably because he just wanted to sulk now and thus also pulled a little out of responsibility.

Rose just shook her head before wondering what she was going to do all the time. The TARDIS suddenly opened its doors and she understood. The Doctor would sleep for a few hours now, and as far as she understood, the TARDIS was a time machine.

„You can not bring me into the past by accident so I can meet my parents again?“

The answer was a clear no. It would have been a bit too nice. Rose sensed, however, that it could be that the TARDIS was so concerned for the Doctor that they would make mistakes. She understood it.

„It's best to stay somewhere else and come back in a few hours. Who knows what they do to you when they discover you?“

Shortly thereafter, the TARDIS had disappeared again and Rose wondered how long it would really take.

~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~

Rose was, how could it be otherwise, of course, was there every day, but when she opened the door this time, he was suddenly in front of her, hands in the pockets of his pants, a big grin on his lips.

It was not long before she was with him and he caught her with his arms.

„Rose, it's done!“, He picked her up so that she was above him, „I'm finally human, with no chance to become a Gallifreyan again.“  
„Do you want to be it again?“  
„Marry me!“

„Does not look like that... What did you just say?“  
„Will my wife, please.“

Rose was not sure if he meant it that way.

The 41-year-old man, who was originally an alien, now put his forehead on hers.  
„Rose, I'm fully aware of my words, and I meant it that way. Please marry me.“

That was a bit too much for her, so she had to sit down on the bed, which James could not leave for days.  
„Doctor, I... I did not expect you to do it so fast.“  
„We do not have to get married right away, I'll give you as much time as you need. I also want to introduce you to my parents.“

Now she really had no words left. She just looked at him and understood what she meant to say.  
„Yes, I was expelled from Gallifrey at the time, but I'm definitely not banned from introducing my girlfriend / fiancée to my parents.“

He sat next to her and Rose leaned her head against his shoulder.  
„I would like to meet your parents as well, but what will they say when they learn that you want to marry someone?“  
„You're sure to be happy“, James took a deep breath, „I could not remember it until I was in a half-coma, but as a young man I had dreams of a girl. Of course I could never recognize her face, but today I know you meant it. I think it was no coincidence that we met.“

„You released me from the clutches of my ex-boyfriend, James, because Mum asked for it. That was hardly fate.“  
„For me it was that. I love you, Rose Marion Tyler and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.“

„Yeah... I'll marry you one day“, she promised him and he suddenly grinned broadly. He did not want more.

Just as he was kissing her, the sound of the TARDIS sounded and he looked up with bright eyes.

„Come, Rose!“, He called, „Gallifrey is waiting for us.“

~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~

At Gallifrey, an elderly woman dropped flowers at her husband's grave. It was a simple grave and it was in her garden. He had always wished to stay here forever.

Her husband had died long ago, just months after her son was banished. He had never coped with the loss.

Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard something she had already erased from her memories. In front of her, a blue telephone booth appeared and shortly afterwards a man appeared in the door.

He was tall, with dark hair, bright blue eyes, and big ears that made him so unique. Yes, she would always recognize him.

„Hello, Mum.“

The next moment they hugged each other while Rose stayed in the background. She felt a bit out of place right now.

„Come here, Rose!“, He called and she did, „Mum, this is Rose, my fiancee. Rose, that's... well, we Gallifreyian have no names like the people...“  
„It's alright, my boy. But you should have one, right?“  
„Christopher James Smith“, he grinned, but then glanced at his father's grave. He sighed, then put his hand on the cold stone.  
„Forgive me, Dad, that I did not manage to get home sooner. I hope you are all right where you are now. I met the woman I saw earlier in my dreams, her name is Rose, she's a human... as well as I've become one.“

He would have much to explain, that was for sure.


	9. Chapter 9 - Two Homeworlds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wibbly, wobbly, Timey, Wimey.
> 
> I'm sure, after this chapter many people will think about this quote ... because James finally learns something about his true origin.

Chapter 9 - Two Homeworlds

They had sat in the garden, as it was still very warm in the afternoon when the two twin suns Gallifreys were low in the sky. However, Rose had to say, the temperatures here were not much different than on Earth, maybe even cooler.

„I hope you drink tea“, the older woman put down a cup in front of her.  
„Thanks, though I'm pretty surprised to get tea on another planet than Earth.“

James grimaced, „Even though many of you think they are not the only ones in the universe.“

She just grinned and reminded him that he was a human himself now.  
„Just for you, Rose. Otherwise I might be a Gallifreyan again.“

The elderly woman at the table smiled mildly when she saw what her son's eyes were looking at his fiancée. If she was honest, her son would much rather have lived alone all his life than take a wife from Gallifrey as a partner.

No, he would be really happy with Rose.

The young couple decided to stay until the next day before returning to Earth with the TARDIS.  
„Your room is still today, so you can sleep there.“  
„Together!? Are not you afraid we'll do anything?“  
„Oh, kid, James might want to tell you something more about life here.“

With that, she left them alone to prepare dinner, though Rose had offered to help.  
„Thanks, but you do not have to do that. Let James show you the surroundings a bit.“

He smiled and took her hand in his before he pulled her outside.

The twin suns slowly sank against the horizon and even though he had already shown her a beautiful sunset on earth, this was another sight.

„One of the two suns never sets completely, so there is always a bright streak across the horizon. On the earth there are such places in the far north, sometimes even at daylight even at night. Do you know what natural spectacle only exists on Earth?“

She shook her head.  
„The Northern Lights, the Aurora Boeralis, can not be found on any other known planet in the universe. That's one of the reasons why I love the earth so much. And maybe, besides the desire to spend my life with you, to be a human forever. I love you, Rose Marion Tyler, and I can not say how happy I am that you chose someone like me.“

His blue eyes shone as he talked about it. At the same time, she also wondered how he knew that the Earth was really the only known planet that could show this natural wonder.

It did not matter, she finally decided.

Rose pulled him with him onto the grass, which grew here on Gallifrey in a delicate orange and leaned her so that she was over him.  
„How could I not love you, Christopher James Smith. After all, you have freed me from the worst time of my life and even if we have only made a small trip through England, so I just do not want to miss this time.“

He pulled her down in a kiss when one of the two suns finally disappeared completely behind the horizon.  
„What's going to happen because of your work?“  
„I'll do it as long as I can. What reason would I have to just end it? Forgive me, but I am now engaged/married, as I can unfortunately carry out no liberation actions. Would not be a good reason.“

Rose nodded in agreement. She knew he had always got away with it, but it could end anytime. Yet she would never ask him to stay with her all the time just because something could happen to him.

„Are you going back and forth between Earth and Gallifrey from now on, or what does it look like?“  
„I want to show them both planets when we have children, since they are our homeworlds“, he answered honestly, „they should later decide for themselves where they want to live.“

That's why she loved him. Although he was now a human being, he was still a being from another planet. She wondered for a moment if her children might have something of Gallifrey in them.

„What do we do if they get two hearts, as is normal with the Gallifreyan?“, She asked him.  
„That should not be a problem. I think that we will get everything here. Besides, there is now a new lord president, and I'm sure he's a lot different than his predecessor. I have to audition with him, what about my future on Gallifrey looks like.“

The new lord president was an elderly man who had many years behind him and also fought in the last war, which took place 50 years ago.

Now he had agreed to rule the last years of his life with benevolence over the inhabitants of Gallifrey.

„Would you like to join me tomorrow? After all, it was very long ago that a Gallifreyan and a human were a couple.“  
„Of course I accompanied you. I'm also curious how everyone will react when they see you back.“

~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~

The big quote in the capital of Gallifrey was over 1000 years old, but that was not what astonished James so much. He stopped in front of a painting showing an elderly man with silver curls. Next to it stood a younger woman whose eyes were fixed on him.

„Is this the first couple, between humans and Gallifreyan?“  
„Yes, their names were Basil and Clara, according to the stories. They lived 500 years ago but, like me, they are said to have owned a TARDIS. Sometimes I wonder if I do not have the same. She was alone for a long time, nobody had taken care of her.“

Rose stepped closer to the picture. A human and a Gallifreyan. This couple existed 500 years ago and after that contact between Earth and Gallifrey was banned.

„So he loved Earth as much as you loved?“  
James nodded.  
„He married a woman from Earth, right?“  
„Yes, so if the stories are correct.“  
„James, it may be that you are a descendant of them. You love the earth, you have chosen to remain a human forever...“  
„Rose“, he took a deep breath, „I can not be her descendant. How should that be possible? According to ancient records, it was impossible for people and Gallifreyan to have children.“

Rose looked at him, then returned her gaze to the old painting.  
„James, look closer“, she begged him, he did and then staggered backwards as he read the words written in Gallifreyish.  
„What is there?“  
„For you, My Impossible Girl, I will remain a human forever“, he read, then shook his head.  
„So if I'm really her descendant, then...“  
„Then you have always had human blood in you. But that is not the point. James... are you alright?“

He had slipped down beside the picture.  
„Man, I was always somehow human. All my ancestors had human blood in them.“

His fiancé sat down next to him.  
„Is that bad?“  
„No, I would much rather have learned much sooner. Thank you for bringing this to my attention.“

She kissed him on the cheek and then helped him up.  
„Come on, let's go to the new Lord President.“

A little later they entered a small room in which the current Lord President awaits them.

„Sit down“, he begged her. „Of course I know why you're here. And so that it does not take too long, from this minute the banishment of Mr. Christopher James Smith is lifted. Welcome back to Gallifrey.“

James beamed. He could not say how glad he was about it.  
„Do you hear that, Rose? I'm allowed to be back on Gallifrey regularly.“  
He did not wait for an answer, but leaned forward and kissed her. The new Lord President left the room with a smile.

Later, when they left the building, they did not notice anyone passing them. Of course, one does not pay attention to any person who might encounter one on the way, but if they had known that only a few years later they would choose to live forever in the past, laying the foundations for James' birth in a few centuries Who knows what their reactions would have been.

~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~

„So you are no longer banished?“  
„No, mum“, he paused, glancing at Rose, who nodded encouragingly.  
„Mum, is it possible that the old stories about the first couple between a human and a Gallifreyan are true? Could it be possible that I am her descendant?“

Short silence, then the older woman nodded.  
„Yes, your father wanted to tell you about it, but the fears stopped him.“  
„Is Christopher James really his name?“, Rose wanted to know now and again there was a nod. James got up and said he wanted to be alone, it was just too much for him. The two women understood it.

Rose looked at some pictures on the mantelpiece. James stood next to an older man and both grinned widely into the camera. Even as a child, James had that smile, which she loved so much about him.

„William loved his son very much.“  
„William? I thought the Gallifreyan did not have names.“  
„We already have them, they are not easy for humans to pronounce. And my husband really preferred to be called Will.“

Rose sensed she was going to experience some surprises in this family.

James, on the other hand, had gone to his father's grave. He did not know what to say without being loud. He had clenched his hands into fists.  
„You guessed it all the time, did not you? Did not you do anything about it back then when I was banished by Gallifrey? Why...“, he paused, „why did you never tell me anything about my true origins? I would have kept it for myself.“

He was aware that he would not receive an answer and if so, then maybe not those he wanted to hear.

„I only wish you had held out until I came back, but you just gave up. Dad, I can not say I understand your decision, I may never, but I'm sure I love you, Dad.“

Footsteps behind him stopped him before he turned around.  
„Did you hear everything about the soul?“  
„I guess so. Rose? Let's go to TARDIS.“

They did it. Rose had put her hands on her fiance's arm and had been thinking through the months since she knew him. From the moment she saw him for the first time and was afraid of him, where she realized that she had feelings for him, the fears as he lay in semi-coma for several days and she was terrified for his life, how he had decided to be a human forever, and finally his request that she may marry him.

She also thought of Lee and Donna, which ... She shook her head. It still hurt to know that she would never see her again. They may not have belonged to James's family by blood, but they have been a family to him since he lived on Earth.

When they stopped in front of the Tardis, he half stepped into the door and held out his hand.  
„Did I mention that she can travel through space and time?“

The story of James and Rose does not end here, but lays the foundation for a new generation whose ancestors were a human and a Gallifreyan.

And behind them waved a slightly older woman whose name was Idris.  
Her last thoughts were on her son, his girlfriend, and her husband, whom she would now follow.

Because now she knew that James would not suffer anymore.

At some point, business cards will become known in the following words on Earth and on Gallifrey.

"We do not kidnap, we liberate.

The Doctor and The Bad Wolf."

*************

The main story ends herewith. Finally, there is an epilogue showing the past and the future in front of and in 500 in order to close the circle and never end it.

Anyway, everything about James's true provenance has come to light and I hope it was not too complicated.


	10. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end of the story is reached.
> 
> I would like to thank all the readers, including the kudos, which I got and maybe will get. And of course I wish you a lot of fun reading the story in the future.
> 
> BTW: There is already a next Nine/Rose story in the planning, which will include the subject of stroke.

Epilogue

500 years in the past - Gallifrey

„Let's stay here, Clara.“

The young woman looked around. She had seen Gallifrey in the future, as well as not when she was born in 2016, more specifically, born 30 years earlier.

„What will happen to the TARDIS?“  
„She'll wait until someone finds her in the distant future“, he frowned slightly, „it still feels weird to have only one heart left.“

„It was your decision to become Basil, a human.“

He just smiled and knew that he would never regret it.  
He remembered it very well when he first met her. Back then, two years ago, when she ran with full force against him.

„Well, the young women running around a fossil like me, I would have expected less.“  
„Excuse me, just had an annoying conversation with my dad. And just for the record: If you're really a fossil, then probably the best-looking Fosil of all time. I am Clara. Feel like drinking something?“

He could only look at her.  
„We do not know each other, so why are you asking me that?“  
„To meet you, for whatever reason?“  
„Oh, Clara“, he grinned, „you have not the slightest idea what you're getting into.“

„How will it continue now?“, She wanted to know. Basil just shrugged. He did not want to know, but the mere fact that she would stay by his side made him happier than ever.

The older man took the hand of the young woman.  
„At some point“, he predicted, „maybe someone will experience a similar fate. Who knows that at the moment?“

~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ °

500 years in the future - Earth

Amazed and with extreme caution, the young man turned the next page. The book, which was written about 500 ago, was about the story of a young lady called Names Rose.

Of course, after such a long time it was hard to say what was true and what was written about it.

„It's not 500 years old“, a voice suddenly sounded in front of him and he looked up. In front of him stood a young woman who looked very much like the person on the cover of the book.  
„How should you know that?“  
„Because I wrote it. Rose Tyler is my name too.“

Now he did not understand anything anymore.  
„But how?“  
„I'm James and Rose's descendant and therefore also of Basil and Clara.“

He could only stare at her. He never expected to meet anyone from Gallifree's most famous family and Earth.  
„My name is John, David John Smith“, he introduced himself, „but I have only human ancestors, Rose Tyler.“

She looked up at the tone as he spoke her name.  
She noticed that he wore a striped suit and sneakers. But the fashion belonged far into the past. Rose smiled as she took the book from his hand.

„Well, David John Smith? Would you like to join me and the TARDIS on some trips?“

„As many as you want.“

At some point, whether in the past, the present or the future, a man and a Gallifreyan fell in love.

At some point... If we can not see it, we will at the same time see a couple, which appears to us like any other and yet is so completely different.

The end.


End file.
